


Feels like falling. Feels like drowning.

by hello_there_darling



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, College/University, Good Friends, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Original Female Character - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-13
Updated: 2013-03-29
Packaged: 2017-11-25 08:27:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/636982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hello_there_darling/pseuds/hello_there_darling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't supposed to end like this. He shouldn’t be left feeling like his chest was about to implode as his heart tried to force its way into his throat. He could honestly say he had never felt this way before.</p><p>The pack go away for college leaving Derek behind. A messy goodbye leaves Stiles confused and heartbroken as he tries to move on with his life.</p><p>How will Stiles react when Derek shows up unexpectedly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. End like this

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where this is going but there is a good chance I will raise the rating later on. Please be patient and I hope you enjoy.

For as long as he lived he would never forget the pitiful looks his friends sent him from the car as he was left standing by the now closed door, his bag left forgotten at his feet, trying to understand what had just happened.   
It wasn't supposed to end like this. He shouldn’t be left feeling like his chest was about to implode as his heart tried to force its way into his throat. He could honestly say he had never felt this way before. Like the floor had been ripped out from under his feet and he had no one to hold on to. Like he was drowning and there was nothing anyone could do about it. The last time he had felt anything remotely like this had been when his mother had died. That was a completely different type of pain yet it felt eerily similar. It was the type of pain that left you feeling completely alone no matter how many people you surrounded yourself with.  
Taking one last look at the door in front of him he turned and headed to the already crowded car, throwing his bag in the trunk before climbing into the driver’s seat and forcing a cheerful smile on his face.  
"Lets hit the road then. We want to try and get to Stanford before dark." His confident and cheerful voice was visibly fake to all in the Jeep but he was glad that none of his friends chose to comment on it. It had been bad enough that they had all witnessed his near break down just moments ago but talking about it would be much worse. He would prefer to just forget about the whole messy situation. At least until he reached the semi privacy of his new dorm room tonight.  
The journey was pretty silent the entire way and he wasn’t sure if this was a good or bad thing. On the one hand he was grateful that no one had brought up what had happened yet but on the other he knew the silence meant they were all replaying the events of a few hours ago over and over in their minds, waiting until they could talk about it without him there. Deciding that them keeping their thoughts to themselves was preferable he turned the radio up and tried to focus on something other than the painful feelings still trapped in his chest.

By the time they reached the campus everything was just about back to normal between the group of friends. There were still many unanswered questions floating around but they were happy to ignore them for now in favour of finding their rooms and crashing for the night. It had been a long day for all of them, not just him. A day of tearful goodbyes and promises of being in touch soon. Locating his room relatively easily he was pleased to find that his roommate hadn't arrived yet. He took the opportunity to get first dibs on the beds in the room, though it wasn’t like either of them were very appealing, and unpacked his small suitcase. The rest of his belongings were due to be dropped off tomorrow by his dad in the large truck they had rented. Finishing his unpacking quickly he stripped off his Jeans and climbed into bed. After half an hour of tossing and turning he eventually drifted to sleep dreading what the next day would bring.


	2. Brand new day

Waking up in a strange place always freaked him out until he was slightly more awake and able to work out where he was. For a blissful moment between half sleep and fully waking he was able to forget the painful happenings of the day before. Enjoying the morning sun as he stretched leisurely and absently scratched at the bare skin on his stomach where his t-shirt had ridden up in his sleep. Flashes of yesterday’s humiliating goodbye, if you could even call it that, shot through his mind as he jumped up suddenly wide awake.

"Shit." He spoke softly to himself throwing his head back to rest on the wall behind him as he thought. Yesterday hadn't gone at all as he had expected. Not that he had really known what to expect but it had never gone like that in his head. Rolling over to land on his feet by the side of the bed he searched for his phone to check the time. He had just found it when it started to ring a familiar ringtone indicating that Lydia was calling him. Not that he had expected it to be anyone else this early in the morning, most of his friends preferred to remain in bed for as long as possible before finally dragging themselves back into the land of the living. He answered it knowing that if he didn't the red head would get her revenge on him one way or another and that really was a scary thought. Pressing the answer button he brought the phone to his ear preparing for the worst.  
"Meet me outside your building in 15, no excuses, be there." Was all she said with an unspoken threat. It could have been worse. 

Rushing around the room he was ready in no time. Leaving a note with his phone number for his new roommate, in case they showed up before he got back from wherever Lydia was dragging him, he locked the door before heading down to meet his second best friend. He expected her to be her usual bitchy but trustworthy self who would remark on his horrible choice of clothes before dragging him off for breakfast. What he didn't expect was for Lydia to throw herself at him the moment he stepped through the doors. Wrapping one arm around him tightly whilst the other moved up and down his back with lazy but sure movements. Lydia rarely hugged anyone and he would happily admit it was just what he needed right now. 

“I know yesterday is probably the last thing you want to talk about right now but you do realise you’ll have to at some point right? Everyone has a lot of questions and they wouldn’t push you for answers but you need to tell them.” She said firmly but kindly. He’ll never understand how she can make her voice sound both threatening and caring at the same time; it’s something that he had never been able to achieve. Groaning he rubbed a hand over his face and started walking in the direction to the small on campus coffee shop he had noticed on the drive in. 

“Stiles I'm being serious they deserve to know everything.” She grabbed his arm to stop him from walking away.   
“I know okay! Just give me some time Lydia. I still need to process what happened yesterday okay?” he asked without turning to face her. He didn’t want to see the pity that he knew would be clearly written across her face no matter how hard she tried to hide it. “Anyway I'm sure Erica and Boyed have already worked most of it out and I know you already told Jackson what you know. Allison will probably figure it out soon, even if she is at a slight disadvantage not having werewolf sense and all, then that only leaves Isaac and Scott who will remain blissfully naïve until I chose to tell them what’s going on. Not everyone in the pack needs to know what’s going on in my life at all times. That’s just creepy.” Lydia remained silent and pursed her lips tightly as if she was physically holding herself back from saying something. He ignored her in favour of surveying the campus and letting his excitement for the upcoming term fill him completely as he blocked out all thoughts of the pack. He knew he couldn’t keep this up forever but at least it gave him some time to get some distance between him and the events of yesterday. As the duo passed a small shop he caught sight of something in the window display that made him stop in his tracks before dragging a grumbling Lydia inside. The walls of the shop were lined with a mixture of classic and new comic books. He was in heaven. The only thing that could make this better was if… No he wasn’t going to let himself think about that. Today was about Stiles, Lydia and their new school and nothing was going to ruin that for him.


	3. A taste of home

Chapter 3  
After forcing Lydia to stay in the shop for another half an hour he eventually gave in to her complaints of starvation and they carried on towards the coffee shop. They arrived there to find the place surprisingly busy for the time of day saying as it was still the holidays and most students had yet to return wanting to stay away as long as possible. Using Lydia’s powers of persuasion they managed to secure a small table at the back of the shop. She didn’t bring up yesterday again but he could tell she wanted to.

They’d been in the coffee shop talking for a few hours when he got the call from his dad signalling the arrival of his things. After saying a quick goodbye to Lydia and promising to meet her later he set off towards his building. The trip back to his dorm seemed to pass quicker this time and before he knew it he was watching his dad exit the small movers van. 

Even though it had only been two days since he last saw the sheriff it was a relief to see him, a small piece of home in a strange new place. He stepped into his dad’s open arms not caring who was watching. After a minute or so his dad tried to pull back but Stiles wasn’t letting go. 

“Hey, you okay son?” without looking at him he could hear his father’s concern. 

“Yeah, sorry, I’ve just not had the best few days. I'm really glad you’re here.” He replied taking a step back as he smiled not wanting to worry his dad. 

“Look Stiles if this had anything to do with that boy…” The sheriff started to say before he was cut off. 

“No no no, it’s nothing really dad. If anything serious ever happens to me you’ll be the first person I talk to. It’s just me being silly, I promise.” He tried to force the smile to reach his eyes when the unsure look remained on his father’s face and let out a small internal sigh as he received a nod for his efforts. The conversation was over, for now anyway. 

“Come on dad, lets just get these boxes inside and then we can go find somewhere to get lunch. I hear there’s a place that does really good veggie burgers around here.” He smirked at the whine to his left. 

“Stiles… can’t we get some proper food for once. This is our last meal together until the holidays.” 

“Exactly this is the last chance I have to force you to eat healthily before you return to late night take-a-ways and fried breakfasts. Don’t bother denying it, I can smell the bacon grease on you from this morning!” he lectured. At least the sheriff had the decency to act somewhat guilty at being caught. He laughed and headed to the back of the van to pick up a box. Turning back he found his father had yet to move. 

“Hurry up old man. The quicker we get these boxes unloaded the quicker we can get some delicious veggie burgers.” The sheriff’s groan at the thought of the low fat meal just fuelled his amusement. Deciding there was no use waiting for the older man Stiles began to take a small stack of boxes to his dorm room, his dread building at the thought of having to carry multiple boxes up to the third floor. Maybe he could let his dad get some bacon with his burger as a reward, he really was a good son after all.


	4. Guess who

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess whos in town.

Chapter 4  
After the sheriff left the remaining week before school started flew by. Lydia and Erica dragged him out to a multitude of clubs and bars in a not so subtle attempt to distract him from his moping. If you asked for his opinion, which not many people did, he would say that he was dealing with the situation in a mature manor and didn’t need the help of the two interfering girls. But yet here he was, two days before the start of term, getting ready for a final night out. This time the girls had roped Jackson, Boyed and Isaac into joining them (Scott and Allison preferring to spend their night together) and they were all going out for dinner before hitting the town.

When he had spoken to Lydia earlier she had been very vague about where they were going but insisted he wore his best clothes. If it was anyone else he would have pressed for further information but he had learnt a long time ago that if Lydia Martin didn’t want someone to know something then they wouldn’t find out.   
There was a loud nock at the door announcing the arrival of his friends. After checking his appearance a final time he went to open the door. Looking at the clock next to the door he realised they were a good 20 minutes early. It’s probably Lydia coming to approve what I'm wearing he thought as he fumbled with his key almost dropping it in his haste to open the door. Finally jamming the key in the lock he got it open and was astonished by what, or rather who, he saw. Derek Hale was leaning against the door frame looking the most uncomfortable Stiles had ever seen him and all he could do was stare. He continued his staring until Derek cleared his throat awkwardly as he shifted his weight from foot to foot. The loud noise in the otherwise quite hallway snapped him out of his shock. 

“What are you doing here Derek? You have no right to be here.” He whispered when he finally gained the ability to speak again. He didn’t know what to do. How were you supposed to act when the cause of all your problems showed up out of the blue? There was no manual for this sort of thing, well there probably was but Stiles was struggling to group his thoughts and fight off the panic attack that was threatening to surface. He was so lost in his own head he didn’t realise Derek had begun speaking and he had to ask him to repeat himself. 

“Lydia asked me to come and get you for dinner, she said you knew I was coming.” Taking in the younger boy’s bewildered expression Derek sighed although it came out as more of a growl.  
“I'm guessing by your shock that she lied. I think I should just go…” he trailed off looking down the hallway towards the exit. Stiles had now managed to get his breathing back under control and was no longer at risk of having a panic attack. Taking a deep breath he forced yet another smile onto his face. 

“No it’s fine. You came all this way to see the pack you should stay. I just wasn’t expecting you is all. Wait here a sec and I’ll just grab my jacket then we can go.” He said in a fake cheerful voice that he was sure the werewolf could see straight through but thankfully chose not to comment on.   
They reached the restaurant early and spent the rest of the time till the pack arrived in silence and tried their best to avoid looking at each other. When the others arrived, obviously less surprised to see Derek as he had been, they headed inside to find their table. Hanging back slightly he grabbed Lydia’s arm as she passed intending to interrogate her on the sudden appearance of the alpha. Of course she already knew what he was going to say before he even got the chance to open his mouth. 

“Look I'm not sorry I didn’t tell you, if I had you wouldn’t have come, and I'm not sorry for inviting him. The two of you need to talk. You won’t make it through the first week let alone last till the holidays if you can’t sort this out soon. We might not talk about it but I can tell you’ve been thinking about this all week and it’s starting to wear you down. We’re just worried for you so man up and talk to him Stilinski.” Without waiting for a reply she turned and headed inside to take her place at the table next to Jackson meaning that the only available seat was next to Derek, great.   
They made it through the meal with little incident and half an hour later they were entering a student bar/club a couple of streets away. The pack found two smaller tables in a corner and joined them together to make a table large enough for them all to sit at before the girls went to get drinks for everyone. The bar was pretty relaxed when it came to checking IDs so the 18 year old and Derek all had some form of alcoholic drink, the boys opting for beer whilst the girls both had lighter, fruiter drinks. By the time he had finished his first drink Stiles was feeling much more relaxed and able to push all thoughts of Derek to the back of him mind and instead focus on the other people around him. 

Everything was going well, he hadn’t thought of Derek and his god like body for an hour or so, until the barmaid came over to take away their empty glasses throwing Derek a flirty smile as she passed. Stiles thought he would be okay with this, he was used to people acknowledging the alpha’s good looks, if Derek hadn’t responded with a wide smile of his own. He knew his feelings were unrequited, Derek had made that perfectly clear, but it still hurt to see him interacting with other people in away Stiles knew he never would with him.

Deciding he really needed to get away from the table before he did something stupid he dragged Isaac and Erica over to the small dance floor on the other side of the room avoiding Lydia’s knowing smirk. Just because Derek was here didn’t mean he didn’t get to have any fun he thought as he started dancing sandwiched between the two wolfs.


	5. Dance is freedom

Whenever he was in the middle of a dance floor he felt free. Like he could be whoever he wanted just for the night and no one would care. He could just blend in with the crowd and forget whatever had been on his mind for the past few days. He wasn't sure if it was the loud music or the large group of people packed tightly together that made him temporarily forget his problems, maybe it was a mixture of the two, but whatever it was it was just what he need right now. 

After dancing together for several songs Isaac, Erica and Stiles slowly drifted away from each other as they caught the eye of other dancers. Isaac was dancing with a tall tanned man who looked a little like Danny but that could just be the poor lighting. Erica had started dancing between two preppy Jocks but they were soon replaced by a slightly jealous Boyed, Erica liked to tease him until he snapped and stole her away from her dance partners. Stiles was currently grinding against a tall dark haired man who had startling grey eyes and an obvious erection which was digging into his hip. 

He normally preferred to dance on his own or with his friends but tonight he needed a distraction. However his distraction was starting to get a little grabby and Stiles didn't like that at all. Trying to move away only succeeded in him being pulled closer to the man’s firm chest as a hot wet tongue traced the shell of his ear.

"Come on baby don't be like that. If you stay with me I can make you feel real good. I can make you forget all your problems" The man spoke into his neck. He might have considered the offer if the man had bothered to wait for his response instead of moving one hand to cup Stiles ass as his other held the smaller boys head in place slightly to aggressively. Stiles let out a scared whimper which the man mistook as pleasure. 

He was starting to panic as he became more and more trapped in the man's arms until suddenly the arms disappeared. Opening his eyes (when had he closed them? He couldn't remember) he found Derek standing between him and the grey eyed man, a low rumbling growl coming from deep in his chest which only Stiles could hear. He wouldn't admit the shiver that sound sent up his spine. Even though nothing was said, as far as he could tell, the man left quickly obviously intimidated by the werewolf. 

Fighting back his second panic attack of the day he placed a hand on Derek's shoulder. As soon as they made contact the low growling stopped and Stiles let out a sigh of relief. He didn't want the older man to wolf out in the middle of a crowded room. Knowing that even if Derek could hear everything that was said, he would struggle to hear anything over the loud music so he took hold of Derek's forearm and dragged him towards the side door of the bar and pushed him out into the empty side street.

"We need to talk."


	6. If looks could kill

If looks could kill then Derek would surely be dead by now. The look Stiles was giving him would make weaker men cower, but Derek was anything but weak.

Once they were outside and away from the loud music Stiles turned sharply on his heel and pushed a stunned Derek against the nearest wall, holding him firmly by his shoulder. Derek let himself be pinned in place. Even though he could easily get out of the weaker boy’s grip if he had wanted, for some reason he was perfectly happy with their current position. Not that he would ever admit that if asked. Neither boy spoke as their silent stand-off continued undisrupted for several minutes.

Finally Stiles broke the silence unable to keep from speaking any longer. He was known for his inability to remain quite after all. 

“However grateful I may be for the rescue you had no right Derek, no right at all to do that.” Stiles stated in barely more than a whisper as he tried to control his anger. “It’s not like you were even doing it for me, that’s what makes it so laughable, you were doing it because of your own selfish reasons as always. Because of your own stupid jealousy.” He was really getting going now, his voice becoming louder with each word he spoke. “and let me just point out that you have no reason to be jealous Derek. You gave up your right to be jealous when you asked me to leave. That was your choice Derek, you got what you wanted.” Letting go of Derek Stiles rubbed a hand roughly over his eyes and let out a sigh of frustration. Derek tried to speak, to get his point across but Stiles cut him off, his voice weaker than before.

“Why? Why did you have to come here? Why did you have to put me through this, why did…Just why Derek?” Stiles finished. The look on his face broke Derek’s heart. He had never wanted this to happen. He didn’t want to hurt Stiles, he didn’t want anyone to hurt Stiles. 

“Look I think it’s best if I just go. Tell everyone I said goodbye and I guess I’ll see you next time I'm home.” Stiles said as he took a step backwards. At Derek’s blank expression Stiles struggled to hide a wince. “…or not then. Bye Derek.” He finished bitterly. Leaving Derek standing in the deserted street Stiles hurried away lost in his own thoughts.

Stiles forced himself to keep walking. He knew if he stopped or looked back at Derek he wouldn’t be able to leave. He had to move on, he had to forget about Derek, there was no other option. Ignoring the drunks roaming the street Stiles kept his head down and sped up. The sooner he got back to his dorm the sooner he could go to bed. The sooner he went to bed the sooner this day would be over and Derek would be gone.


	7. You can do better

Derek wasn't sure how long he remained standing in the ally, watching Stiles retreating back until he was no longer in sight, but apparently it was long enough for the rest of the pack to start worrying. The fact that he didn't even realise his pack had joined him outside until Lydia placed a hand on his shoulder, jolting him back to reality. 

Rubbing his face roughly he berated himself internally. He was the alpha he should be alert at all times. If he hadn't been able to tell his own pack had arrived, hadn't been able to hear nor smell them, then how would he be able to tell when something dangerous was near?

He shook his head as if trying to get rid of any lingering thoughts of the younger boy before starting to walk down the backstreet after Stiles. Ignoring the packs worried shouts Derek started sprinting, following Stiles scent. He didn't care how late it was he had to see the boy tonight. 

The last time he had let himself get this distracted by someone he had lost his entire family in one night. He had to end this before it could begin, he had to protect himself, protect the pack, no matter what it cost him personally. Even if there was no way Stiles would do what she had Derek couldn't take the risk. After all he had once thought there was no way she would do what she did. 

When Stiles scent suddenly grew stronger then disappeared Derek found himself coming to a stop outside a rundown 7/11 in a not so good neighbourhood at the edge of the city. Stiles must have gone inside. Now he was here and about to speak to Stiles again he suddenly became very nervous. He didn't know what to say, how to act or anything else that might help him in this situation. Not for the first time tonight his mind went blank.

Pausing in a nearby side street he took a moment to calm down before he confronted the younger boy. Derek crouched by the side of a large bin and let his anger wash over him. She shouldn't have this control over his life anymore but yet she did. He stood up quickly and spun on the spot, his arm thrusting out in front of him to create a large crater in the side of the bin.

He hated comparing Stiles to Kate but at times he just couldn't help it. Although they were nothing alike, the feelings they created in Derek were scarily similar.

There was the tightening of his chest whenever he saw either of them. The instinctive need to trust them, admittedly the need was much stronger with Stiles. The way they could get a reaction out of him that was both positive and negative at the same time. But most of all it was the way that they seemed to understand him more than anybody else that sent shivers down his spine.

The feelings were the same but that was where the similarities end. Stiles was kind, loving, loyal, brave, trusting, caring and protective but he was breakable. Kate was just a bitch. The older woman was manipulative, twisted, hurtful, bigoted, fierce, powerful and dangerous. Their man difference could be shown by how they reacted to Derek letting them close, letting them get to know him. 

Stiles used the information he learned to help Scott, to help the pack, help the pack grow as a unit and to look after Derek. 

Kate however used it as an opportunity to ruin him. She destroyed everything he had by manipulating the vulnerable, trusting teenage boy he was back then. She never cared for him, she only cared for herself and taking a step towards riding the world of werewolves for good. Kate had hurt Derek more than he ever thought one person could. He had been naive and thoughtless and weak. All the things he had been raised not to be. 

The need to protect Stiles also played a large part in his decision to end this now. He couldn’t give the younger boy what he wanted without putting him in harm’s way. No matter how strong the need to protect himself was, it was equally matched by his need to protect Stiles. Stiles was part of his pact, he needed to protect him. Stiles was human which made him weak and vulnerable to most things that the pack faced. Stiles was, well he was just Stiles and that meant more to Derek than the rest combined. 

Slowly he managed to drag himself out of his thoughts and back to reality as he felt someone nearing him. Looking up from his spot on the floor where he had slumped back to sometime in the last few minutes Derek found Stiles staring back at him curiously. 

Even though they had seen each other not long ago Stiles surprise was clearly shown. The younger boy’s eyes were wide and his mouth was opening and closing. They both stared at each other for about a minute before the sound of a car backfiring a few blocks down causing them both to jump. The sound seemed to snap Stiles out of whatever thoughts he was having. He continued to watch Derek unblinkingly for another moment before slowly starting to back away. 

“No, no, no, no, no…” he chanted over and over, getting quieter the further he was from Derek. The chanting became so quiet that even Derek with his enhanced hearing struggled to hear. “You can’t be here. You were supposed to leave, I was supposed to go home and we wouldn’t see each other again anytime soon. You can’t do this to me Derek. Not again, not tonight.” He finished backing up once he was back on the main road and turned to walk away. It was Derek’s broken shout that had him stopping where he was. 

“Stiles, please.” Derek sounded the most broken, the most human, that Stiles had ever heard. The older man wasn’t known for being vulnerable, not since Kate and fucked him up so royally. It was that thought that had him heading back to the man who was still sitting on the floor against the bin. 

Sighing Stiles slid down the bin to join Derek on the floor. 

“You can’t keep doing this Derek, it isn’t fair.” Stiles said in barley a whisper “I don’t know what you want me to do. One minute you’re pushing me away and the next you want me to stay. What do you want from me? Do you want to hurt me? Do you want to cause me pain? What do you want Derek?!” he finished his voice rising as he spoke. This caused Derek to become angry for reasons unknown. 

“You think I want this Stiles? This isn’t about what I want it’s about what’s best for me, for us.” Derek said, his eyes flashing red with anger. “I don’t want you to get hurt and I'm sorry that’s what has happened, it wasn’t my intention.” Derek said gently as he started to calm down again. “I'm a mess Stiles. I'm broken. It’s not fair for you to have to deal with that and you shouldn’t have to. You deserve better Stiles.” Derek finished turning to look at the short haired boy. Stiles was speechless. He blinked his large eyes at Derek as his mouth fell open. 

“You have no right to make that choice for me Derek. No right. I can’t even believe…” Stiles trailed off in disbelief. “How could…” he tried again before standing. He didn’t say anything else. He simply continued looking shocked and shook his head sadly before walking away.


	8. More questions than answers

The next morning Stiles had to force himself out of bed. He hadn’t slept well as thoughts of Derek played through his head on a loop. 

Dragging on whatever clothes happened to be on the floor nearest to him, ignoring any suspicious stains, Stiles set out in search of coffee and food. It was already looking like it was going to be a bad day and he refused to speak to anyone until he had at least had his morning coffee. It was his last day before the term started and he planned on doing absolutely nothing. After he had his coffee he would go and buy a stack of comics then go and brood in his dorm until the sun went down, only then would he come out for food before heading back and passing out until morning. 

It sounded like the perfect day to Stiles and he wouldn’t let anything ruin it for him. Entering the small café on campus, however, he soon realised that this wasn’t going to be the day of moping and relaxation he had hoped for. 

Sitting in Stiles favourite spot near the back of the room was Derek looking completely out of place, dressed from head to toe in black, surrounded by the hipsters who frequented the coffee shop. Stiles figured he had around three seconds to decide whether he was going to leave the café now or buy his coffee and ignore Derek for as long as possible. 

If he was being honest there was really no choice to make. The smell of coffee and the different flavoured syrups drew Stiles further in to the café as his need for coffee erased any other thoughts. It was only after he had taken the first sip of his triple shot caramel late that he even remembered what had him so on edge this morning. Taking a deep breath Stiles decided it would be best if he confronted Derek now instead of running away yet again. There were only so many times he could hide from this.

With his head held high Stiles made his way to the back of the café trying not to let his nerves show. As he neared the table he noticed several sheets of paper were spread out over every available surface, even hanging over the side of the table in some places. He tried to catch a glance at what they were without drawing Derek’s attention. The clearing of Derek’s throat let him know he had been caught. He looked up trying to keep his expression as neutral as possible. 

“Job application forms.” Derek said answering Stiles’ unasked question. The wolfman seemed to think using the least amount of words possible was an acceptable form of explanation. Stiles knew he shouldn’t be surprised; it was Derek’s lack of vocabulary that had gotten them in this situation to start with. 

“You’re gonna have to give me more than that Derek.” Stiles said, continuing at Derek’s blank expression. Rolling his eyes Stiles spoke slowly as though he was talking to a child. “Why do you have job applications?” 

“I'm looking for a job.” Derek replied calmly. The only change in his expression was the slight raise of his eyebrow. Stiles knew he was messing with him on purpose. 

“And why do you need a job? You already have one at home.” Stiles tried again, practically growling out the last few words. 

“I quit. I decided I needed a job out here if I'm staying for a while.” The wolf said before turning back to the form he had been filling out before Stiles arrived. The short haired boy snatched the pen from Derek’s hand and tossed it over his shoulder; hoping it didn’t hit anyone. 

“No.” Stiles said as he glared at Derek with his hands on his hips. “No, no, no, no, no! There is absolutely no way you are spending any more time out here than you need to, in fact I don’t see any reason why you can’t get on the next plane home and let me live the next 3 years of my life in peace.” He knew he was one foot stomp away from looking like a petulant toddler but he was past caring. He wanted Derek gone and he wanted him gone now. 

“The pack…” Derek began before Stiles cut him off sharply. 

“The pack is fine. They can last without you for a couple of months till the holidays.” He shot back with no hesitation. “You have no reason to be here Derek, just go home.” 

“Yes I do.” Derek said stubbornly, his eyes never leaving the younger boy’s face. Stiles scoffed.

“Oh? And what exactly would that be Derek because I'm having a really hard time thinking of anything other than your own selfish needs.” 

“You. Need to be close to you.” Derek’s reply was so quite that at first Stiles thought he had misheard, it was only Derek’s startled expression that made him realise he had in fact heard correctly. When the realisation of what had been said set in Stiles suddenly found himself speechless. He stumbled in to the chair opposite Derek before his legs gave out. The two of them sat in silence for what felt like hours, neither of them wanting to be the first to break eye contact. After what was probably only a few minutes in reality but felt like a lifetime in Stiles head Derek broke the silence. 

“I shouldn’t have said that. Sorry, I'm just going to go.” The older man said before darting out of the café without giving Stiles a chance to reply. Stupid werewolves and their super speed Stiles thought as he glared at the stack of job applications which Derek had left on the table in his rush to leave. That hadn’t gone how he had expected. 

As he left the café Stiles wasn’t sure whether he felt better or worse about the whole Derek situation now. Sure he had a better idea of what Derek was thinking now but he still had more questions than answers. Unfortunately Stiles got the feeling that there would be more questions to come before he got any answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think and the next chapter should be up ASAP. Thanks.
> 
> Have any questions/ideas or just want to chat email me at hellotheredarlingao3@gmail.com


	9. The angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I'm sorry for the deley posting this but I promise I'll try and get the next chapter up much quicker.

It took several attempts and multiple phone calls before Stiles was able to find out where Derek was staying and even then he wasn’t sure if Lydia had given him the correct address. Seriously, there was no way Derek could be staying at a place like this. This was the sort of place that millionaires brought there secret lovers; the kind of place that celebrities stayed when they left rehab and needed to lie low for a while. This was not the type of place he would expect to find a werewolf who had previously been living in the burnt down shell of what had once been his family home. 

He wasn’t even sure the Hale house could actually be classed as a house. Most houses Stiles had been in had at least 4 walls and a roof.   
How could someone go from that wreck to this place? It has a freaking doorman for God’s sake! 

Deciding it wouldn’t hurt to just ask if Derek did in fact live here, Stiles made his way through the large oak doors. The doorman looked Stiles up and down with a barely concealed look of revulsion. 

“How can I help you Sir?” He sneered as though it physically hurt him to talk to the short haired boy in the bright red hoodie and ripped jeans. Pushing aside the sudden shame he felt at how he was dressed Stiles tried to act confident. 

“I was told my friend lived here but I think I might have been misinformed. You know how friends can be. They’re not always the most reliable when it comes to things like this. Just last week Scott sent me to the other side of town just because he wrote something down wrong. Oh and there was that time that…” Stiles trailed off at the doorman’s obvious disinterest. Really the man could at least try and pretend he didn’t think Stiles was worth less than the dirt on his shoes. He could at least wait until the younger boy left before judging everything about him from his un-kept hair down to the sneakers he was wearing with the small hole at the tip of his left big toe. 

“Anyway,” he began again “is Derek, Derek Hale, staying here.” Again the man tried to control his reaction but a brief flash of surprise flashed across his face before he schooled his expression back in to what Stiles assumed was supposed to be a neutral expression but only made the man look like he was having stomach pains.

“Mr Hale is staying on the top floor,” and the sneer was back “you may go straight up.” The man replied as though, yet again, it physically pained him to speak to anyone who didn’t wear a suit or drive a Bentley. 

“Thanks.” Stiles shot back half-heartedly; already making his way across to the elevator in the back corner before the man had finished speaking. Stepping in to the elevator and noticing the six small numbered metal buttons he didn’t hesitate before pressing the top one. What a jackass he thought as the steel doors slid shut blocking the obnoxious man from his sight. 

Not for the first time tonight Stiles found himself wondering how Derek could afford a place like this. Anyway, even if the alpha could afford this place Stiles never would have thought Derek would choose to live somewhere so pretentious. He would have to explain himself at some point in the future, just not tonight. Tonight he had more important questions that needed asking and nothing would stop him from getting the answers he knew he deserved. 

Or at least that was what he thought until he knocked on Derek’s door. The door was answered by what Stiles could only assume was an angel; if such things existed (he would have to remember to ask Derek about what was a myth and what was real. More importantly, what was dangerous and what wasn’t.) 

The woman who was holding open the door had waist length chocolate brown hair, which was curled loosely down her back, and matching beautiful warm brown eyes. Said eyes were watching him with a mixture of curiosity and surprise as Stiles stood taking in the vision in front of him. This had to be the wrong address. 

Stiles was about to apologise for the intrusion and make his escape before things could get anymore awkward (although he doubted he could do anything worse than stare at a complete stranger for several minutes.) when Derek appeared from another room, his shocked expression matching Stiles own. 

“Stiles?” the wolf asked, sceptical of what he was seeing. Looking between the two beautiful people in front of him, Stiles saw the moment the woman’s expression turned from confusion to understanding. 

“Oh so you’re the mysterious Stiles I’ve heard so much about.” She spoke to the younger boy before turning to Derek “You didn’t tell me you were expecting company tonight babe.” 

After Derek remained silent for several minutes Stiles realised it would be up to him to speak for the wolf. 

“Ah sorry,” he rubbed at the back of his next whilst rocking backwards and forwards on the spot, avoiding any unnecessary eye contact. “that’s my fault. I didn’t tell him I was coming. Honestly I wasn’t even sure if I was in the right place ‘cause a doorman? Seriously? And even if I was in the right place I didn’t want to give him a chance to escape before I got some answers this time.” 

A soft giggling cut him off. A giggle that didn’t belong to him and definitely didn’t belong to Sourwolf, he sometimes wondered if Derek was actually capable of laughing or any expression other than anger or confusion. That meant that the unexpected noise had to have come from the ‘angel.’ 

“I'm sorry it’s just you’re exactly how he described you. Lanky, spastic and can’t stay quiet for longer than 5 minutes at a time. I’ve never heard such an accurate description.” She said before dissolving in to another fit of giggles. 

“Right…” Stiles continued to look anywhere but at the dark haired man who was still standing quietly in the open doorway. “I think I should just go. I’ll talk to you later, it wasn’t important anyway.” He said as he momentarily looked at Derek before looking away again, trying to hide the pain he knew must be visible in his eyes “erm, have a good night you two.” He said as he headed back down the hallway and towards the elevator he had just come up in. He ignored Derek’s weak shout after him.

How could Derek not tell him? Not tell the pack? Something like this is something they should know about. 

Maybe everybody already knew and they were just trying to save his already fragile feelings. Trying to protect the weak human yet again.

He forced himself to take a deep breath, calm down and think. What was there for Derek to tell the pack anyway? Maybe she was just an old friend or a neighbour. His hopeful thoughts were thrown aside as he remembered the way she had called the wolf babe. People didn’t call their neighbours, practically a stranger, babe, especially when Derek had obviously just moved in to the building. 

But then again if Derek did have a girlfriend why didn’t they know about it. It was hard to hide anything from a pack of teenage werewolves. Stiles knew only too well how nosy they were when it came to other members of the pack. 

He was brought out of his internal rambling by the ding of the elevator signalling the end of his journey. 

He should have expected it really but the sight of a lightly panting Derek waiting for him on the other side of the doors still caused him to jump slightly. Again he expected the words Derek spoke when he noticed Stiles arrival. However, that didn’t take away their sting. 

“You weren’t meant to know about her, not yet anyway.” He half spoke, half whispered as Stiles stepped out of the small metal box suddenly feeling trapped. 

Even though he had been expecting Derek to say something like that Stiles had no response ready so instead he chose to remain silent for once in his life and let Derek do all the talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So let me know what you think and such.  
> Any advice and plot ideas are always welcome.Oh and I'm looking for a beta so if anyone is interested please please please email me at hellotheredarlingao3@gmail.com thank you!!
> 
> And on a final note follow me on Tumblr? http://htdbe.tumblr.com/  
> There is a 75% chance I'll follow you back so take a chance


	10. Flashback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second to last chapter. 
> 
> I'm sad it has to end but also excited as it means I can work on other projects.

Chapter 10

Not wanting to talk to Derek, Stiles tried to leave the building. He’d tried, he really had, to sort things with Derek but now he just wanted to go home, get warm and watch some Firefly. Of course that was easier said than done as Derek’s muscular body easily blocked his way. There was no way out; whichever way he stepped the alpha followed, quickly matching him step for step. 

Eventually Stiles gave in and choose to avoid eye contact and remain silent for as long as he could instead. It turned out he couldn’t stay silent for long, no surprises there, and soon the urge to break the painful silence beat his self-preservation away. He knew that this would probably end painfully for him, either physical pain or emotional pain, but he took a deep breath and went for it. The silence was quickly becoming unbearable. 

“So congrats dude, she’s hot. You should have said something. All it would have taken was you telling me you had a girlfriend and none of this would have happened. Well actually most of it probably would have, ‘cause I can’t help…well yeah, whatever, you should have just told me. Told us, the pack should know, in fact I think I should go catch them up now.” Stiles attempted another run for the exit but was, again, blocked. 

“Oh wow would you look at the time,” he raised his arm between them and looked at his bare wrist “I really should get going, big plans and all, really shouldn’t be late.” Stiles was becoming desperate. The situation was already agonisingly uncomfortable and he knew he was only making it worse with his constant ramblings. Then again Derek's continued silence really wasn’t helping either. 

“Shouldn’t you be getting back to your girlfriend? She might think you’ve forgotten about her and that probably wouldn’t end well. Jackson once forgot about Lydia and she dyed his hair pink in his sleep and shaved his eyebrows off. It was hilarious for us, not so much for him.” He seemed unable to stop speaking no matter how much he regretted each word that came out of his mouth. Luckily Derek seemed to have snapped out of whatever daze he was in. 

“Stiles… shut up.” Derek half spoke, half snarled saving Stiles from further embarrassment.   
“Why would you think Alex was… that she was my girlfriend? Especially when I’ve told you time and time again that I do not date?” he finished with a growl.

“Well there was a stranger in your apartment, a hot stranger, who seemed to know you very well. What was I supposed to think when she looks like that and you look like…well, you know what you look like,” Stiles snapped back with the last of his courage before letting out an unmanly squeak as Derek took a step towards him. 

“And what do I look like Stiles.” Derek whispered his breath tickling the younger boy’s flushed cheek. 

“Don’t be an asshole Derek; you know how hot you are. Everything about you is hot from your chiselled abs to your stubble that I just want to rub my face against and your arms, god your arms!” Stiles spoke openly, his brain to mouth filter giving up for the day. Realising what he had said Stiles flushed a brilliant red and awkwardly cleared his throat.   
“And anyway it wouldn’t be the first time that you’ve lied to me or kept me out of the loop with something like this. Remember Kate?” As they were still standing pressed chest to chest Stiles felt Derek's involuntary twitch at his ex’s name. 

The alpha took a second step forward and pinned the smaller boy to the now closed doors of the elevator.

“You remember what I said the day you left?” Derek growled out as he pressed his face in to Stiles neck and took a deep breath. 

“How could I forget?” Stiles replied nodding numbly

 

~Flashback~

He knew he shouldn’t be doing this but the pack had persisted. Once they got an idea in their collective heads there was no letting it go. So here he was, delaying leaving for college so he could embarrass himself one last time whilst proving the pack wrong once and for all. 

Taking a deep breath he reached out an unsteady hand and knocked on the door sharply three times. There was no way that Derek didn’t know he was here by now but somehow something as mundane as knocking calmed him down somewhat. It took less than a second for the door to be jerked open. 

“Stiles” Derek spoke his voice heavy with sleep, and Stiles knew it was the only greeting he would get. 

“Hey Derek, how’s it hanging?” Stiles spoke quickly as his nerves grew. “Sorry to wake you but I had to say something before we left. Well actually I’m kind of being forced to do this so don’t hurt me too much. Blame them.” Derek quickly glanced at the over full car parked in his drive before returning his gaze to Stiles expectantly. 

“Right well here goes.” Stiles began speaking even quicker in a rush to get everything out before he could back out. “I know we didn’t really get along to start with. You were kind of an asshole dude, no offense, but I like to think we are friends now right? Well anyway you can probably tell that I’m attracted to you, wolfy sense and all, but it’s more than that. God, I can’t believe I’m doing this, you’re gonna kill me. Derek I…I… I lo-love you.” Stiles stammered the last part of his speech out after several attempts. Refusing to look at Derek Stiles kept his eyes pinned to the ground. 

After several long and painful minutes Derek cleared his throat to get Stiles attention. The younger boy’s head snapped up quickly in surprise. He anxiously waited for Derek to say something, to say anything. 

“I don’t do relationships Stiles and I would never date you. Ever.” Derek finished before harshly slamming the door closed. 

Stiles remained where he was for a long moment before silently turning and walking back to his trusty Jeep. Avoiding looking at anyone he started the engine and set off out of town. He was leaving behind his home, his family and the one person he had ever truly loved.

~Flashback~

Derek watched closely as multiple emotions flickered across the face in front of him as Stiles remembered their conversation. Once the boy’s eyes cleared and focused on the wolf Derek began speaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well thats it, thanks for reading. 
> 
> What do you think Derek will say now?   
> Tell me what you think. 
> 
> Thanks (:


	11. The second spark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is, the final chapter. 
> 
> Normally I would have made it in to 2 chapters but I kind of just wanted to finish it before it takes over my life. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for all the support you've given me whilst I was writing this and struggling through multiple periods of writers block.
> 
> Enjoy.

This wasn’t how he thought telling Stiles everything would happen. After trying and failing multiple times over the past few days Derek didn’t think that when he finally had the chance to explain it would be in the middle of a lobby under the watchful eye of his curious doorman. Said doorman was currently trying, and failing, to pretend that he wasn’t listening in to the duos heated conversation. 

Deciding that this really wasn’t a conversation that he could risk being overheard Derek roughly grabbed Stiles be the wrist and dragged him across the room until they were a safe distance from the nosey doorman and any other prying ears. It wasn’t ideal but at least they would have slightly more privacy until he could persuade Stiles to come back upstairs with him. 

Derek forced himself to relax as he began to speak. He couldn’t explain everything right now but he needed to tell Stiles enough to gain his trust and get him back to the privacy of the apartment where he would be able to give the younger boy more details and, with the help of Alex, explain everything. 

“So I should probably explain about Alex first right?” Derek asked hesitantly only continuing at the slight nod of Stiles head. 

“Alex is… Alex is a lot of things. She is, sorry was, Laura's best friend when we were in New York. She’s always been like a sister to me.” Derek tried to compose himself quickly but he couldn’t hide his pained expression from Stiles. Stiles instinctively reached out a comforting hand to the wolf and watched as some of the tension melted away at his touch. 

Derek couldn’t let himself fall apart now. He needed to explain. He had to explain. 

“I guess she’s the only family I have left now; the only connection I have to Laura…” Derek trailed off with a faraway look that Stiles only ever saw when Derek was thinking about the past. About Laura. 

After several moments of continued silence in which all that could be heard was their racing heartbeats Derek spoke again. 

“We haven’t seen each other since I followed Laura back to Beacon Hills. ” he spoke slower now as he put more thought in to what he was saying before he spoke. There were certain things about his life which were unsuitable for public conversations.  
“I just wanted some time alone with her before everyone became involved. You’re right I should have told you and the pack about her, and I promise I was going to Stiles, but they would have asked too many questions that I wouldn’t be able to answer.” 

Stiles was shocked. He had never heard Derek open up so much, to anyone. Everyone knew that Derek preferred to keep things to himself and he had every right to after everything that had happened to him. So when he had promised Stiles the truth the younger boy had expected something brief with as few words as possible. Something more Derek. This was more than he could have ever dreamed of. Even now though he had a feeling there was more to come, they hadn’t even breached the reason of Stiles original visit yet. 

“So now you know that Alex isn’t, nor will she ever be, my girlfriend can we please go back upstairs because this really isn’t something we should be talking about in public and I’m sure Alex will be able to clear things up better than I can.” Derek held his hand out to the younger boy, the invitation clear. 

Ignoring the offered hand Stiles started walking back towards the elevator calling over his shoulder as he went. 

“We’re not quite there yet sourwolf.” He spoke quietly knowing the wolf could still hear him clearly.  
“You still have a lot of grovelling to do yet but lucky for you I’m willing to give you a chance.” There was a faint smile on his lips as he looked at Derek though his eyes were guarded, not giving away any sign of what he was thinking.  
“Don’t mess it up ‘cause it’s the only one you’re going to get.”

The warning was clear in his voice but Derek found himself not caring. Stiles was giving him a chance and he would take it no matter what the conditions were.

~’~  
The ride back up to the top floor was strained to put it lightly. Neither boy spoke until they were back inside the apartment and suddenly found themselves faced with a beaming Alex bouncing up and down where she stood waiting for them near the door. 

“Hey guys everything sorted now?” She continued without waiting for an answer “Good good. So is there anything you need before I leave you two to deal with your sexual tension?” 

“Aleeex!” Derek whined like a toddler and again Stiles found himself completely speechless. What was wrong with him today? He couldn’t remember ever being made speechless so many times in one day. He was the boy who always had an answer to everything yet here he was struggling to think of a single thing he could say that didn’t make him sound like a complete idiot. Also, what the hell was going on with Derek today? Looking at the wolf out of the corner of his eye Stiles could see the wolf was still pouting and glaring at the floor in front of him. It seemed that being around Alex made him revert back to when he had first met her and he was a moody teenager struggling with the loss of his family. Stiles really wished the rest of the pack was here to see this because there is no way any of them would ever believe him when he eventually got around to telling them. 

“What der bear?” Alex asked innocently, her eyes giving away her game as they glowed with amusement. He would seriously have to rethink his earlier assessment of her. She was proving to be more devil than angel but it only made Stiles like her more. In fact if the whole situation wasn’t equally humiliating for him he would probably be laughing along with her at Derek’s reaction. 

“You know what, now sit down and shut up.” Pushing her towards the worn leather couch in the middle of the room “You too Stiles.” He added as an afterthought, catching the younger boy’s eye as he passed. 

Alex and Derek sat side by side on the large sofa leaving the newer looking chair opposite them free for Stiles. The two of them seemed to be having a conversation that didn’t involve words and left Stiles feeling even more confused than when he had first seen Alex. How were they doing that? Was it a family thing? No it couldn’t be, Alex wasn’t actually family.  
Was Alex reading Derek’s eyebrows? If it was could she please teach him how to do it.  
Was it a wolf thing? Was Alex a wolf? Does Alex even know about werewolves? That was a question that he probably should have asked before they came back upstairs. 

Before he could begin to try and work out how he could casually ask Alex started to speak.  
“So Derek has told you the basics right? I was Laura’s best friend, I’m like family, yada yada and so on. Well I’m sure you have plenty of questions, that’s what I’m here for, so let me do some explaining of my own and then if I miss anything out you can ask your own questions then, alright?” again she didn’t wait for a response before continuing.  
“The first thing you’ll probably want to know is do I know Derek's fury little secret? Well I do but no I am not a wolf. I’m like you.” This time she did pause to see Stiles reaction. 

“Like me? You mean you’re just human?” He asked uncertainly not knowing what else she could be talking about. 

“No, well yes, but no.” Alex answered only further fuelling Stiles confusion.  
“Yes I am human, but I’m not just human. I’m a spark.” 

“I didn’t know there were other sparks or at least not enough out there that I would ever meet another one.” Stiles confusion was quickly replaced by complete bewilderment. 

“You’re right.” Alex spoke calmly “There aren’t many of us out there and statistically two of us wouldn’t normally meet unless they went looking for each other but here we are, the exception to the rule. That kind of leads on to the second part of my explanation. Just before Laura left New York I set of to find other sparks around the world. There aren’t many of us left and I thought we could learn from each other. I travelled to South America, Africa and Australia studying. I had no contact with anyone so I didn’t hear about Laura and everything that had been going on in Beacon Hills until I came back to the states a month ago and got settled here.” She reached out a hand and placed it on Derek’s knee to ground herself. Stiles could see it pained her to talk about what happened to her best friend just as much as it had pained Derek. “I was actually about to come and see him in Beacon Hills when I heard that his pack was moving here.” 

Looking away from Alex he found Derek watching him intensely and Stiles found himself unwilling to brake their eye contact. Even when Alex cleared her throat to get their attention neither boy was willing to look away. 

“I’ll take that as my queue to leave then shall I?” Alex asked but by the time either of them was able to responded she was already half way out the door mumbling something about unresolved sexual tension as she went leaving Stiles with a blush that reached the roots of his short hair. 

“She isn’t very subtle is she?” Stiles questioned Derek even though he already know the answer. The wolf replied with a wide smile that he rarely ever showed and Stiles wished he would more often. His eyes were practically glowing with happiness, it was beautiful. 

“No. She’s just like Laura; they used to get me into such embarrassing situations.” Derek’s fondness for them was practically pouring out of him in yet another shocking display of emotions. Stiles let Derek have his moment before bringing up the one thing they had left to discuss. 

“So… not that I’m not glad that everything is sorted with Alex now there was kind of another reason why I came here.” He really didn’t want to burst Derek’s new bubble of happiness but this was something they really needed to talk about. It was hurting the pack just as much as it was hurting Stiles. 

“I know,” Derek sighed deeply “You probably had something ready to say and everything when you came, I mean when don’t you have something ready to say, but please can I speak first? Before I lose my nerve.” 

“You lose your nerve? I thought you were the big bad wolf, never scared of anything.” Stiles joked trying to lighten the mood before he was suffocated by the tension in the room. 

“Please Stiles.” And in that moment Derek sounded so pathetic that Stiles kept his next comment to himself. 

“I don’t really know where to start.” Derek stated and Stiles had to fight back his instincts. No matter how much he wanted to say that starting at the beginning was probably a good idea, deep down he knew that his snark really wouldn’t help things right now.  
“I’ve never been good with words like you, or actions like Scott, but Alex said I need to pull my head out of my ass and I have a feeling that most of the pack would agree with her.” Stiles didn’t even try to hold back his snort of amused agreement.  
“Alex explained that I probably didn’t handle things as well as I could have back home so I just wanted a chance to explain.  
I don’t do relationships Stiles, I don’t know how. After everything with Kate I find it hard to let people get close to me. Either that or I let my wolf take charge and become so clingy and over protective that I scare everyone away.” Derek was avoiding looking at Stiles and was instead focusing all his attention on the only scuff on the wooden floor.  
“It’s not that I don’t want to be in a relationship with you Stiles. I can’t be in a relationship with you. Everyone I let close to me either gets hurt or I scare them away. You deserve so much better than that Stiles. So much better. I’d rather have you in my life, in my pack, than not at all. I can’t lose someone else Stiles.”

When Derek raised his head to meet his gaze Stiles let out an involuntary gasp. This was Derek at his weakest, his most vulnerable. His eyes were wide and pale, lips parted, forehead completely relaxed for what had to be the first time ever and his back was hunched as he leaned forward towards Stiles. He was beautiful. 

It took Stiles a couple of minutes to realise that Derek was waiting for him to say something and really what was there he could say to that. Should he take a risk? Could he take the pain when the rejection came? 

“Well it seems like there isn’t anything I can say to change your mind is there?” he said with a sad sigh “but I’m going to try.” He couldn’t help but add. 

“I know you said you love me, and I believe that you believe that, but you can’t Stiles. You’re only 19! You have your whole life ahead of you. Give it time and you’ll find someone better than me, someone who will be good for you, someone who isn’t broken, someone worthy of your love.” Derek shot Stiles a sad smile before returning his gaze to the floor. 

“I’m sure we’ve had a conversation very similar to this before.” Stiles ground out trying to remain calm. He rose slowly from his chair and started pacing.  
“You do not get to choose what I feel Derek. You don’t get to control my life and you certainly don’t get to tell me who I love.” 

He came to a stop in front of the wolf as he finished talking and crouched down bringing them face to face. Or at least they would be face to face if Derek wasn’t still refusing to look up from his feet. 

As calmly as he could Stiles placed a hand on either side of Derek’s head and lifted it until they could easily look in to each-other’s eyes. He hated seeing Derek like this. 

“I love you, do you hear me Derek? I, Stiles Stilinski, love you Derek Hale and I don’t care if you don’t believe me because it’s not going away any time soon. This isn’t like my obsession with Lydia I know you’re not perfect and in fact it’s one of the many things I love about you.  
You’re not going to scare me off Derek. If that was going to happen don’t you think it already would have by now? I’m already pack Derek; I’m used to you being an overprotective arse at the stupidest times.” Stiles pushed Derek deeper in to the sofa and straddled him with more confidence than he was feeling right now. He’s already come this far, he might as well go all out. He kept his hand where they were on either side of Derek’s stubble covered jaw and leant in, only stopping when their noses brushed against each other’s. 

“You might not want to admit it Derek but even though you try as hard as you do to keep people out,” Stiles moved in even closer so that he was talking against the wolfs lips.  
“I found my way in.” he sealed their lips together before Derek had a chance to disagree or even worse escape. Derek, however, made no attempt to get away from the younger boy instead he remained perfectly still for a heartbeat before enthusiastically returning Stiles kiss. 

The kiss quickly turned from Stiles trying to show Derek how he felt with slow and gentle kisses full of passion to Derek finally giving in and kissing Stiles back with the hunger of a thousand starved men. It was awkward and messy and 100% them. It would have been perfect if the moment Derek moved to pin Stiles to the couch several flustered werewolves came tumbling through the door followed by a very smug Alex and Lydia. 

The noise they made was enough to startle Stiles and Derek apart although it was obvious what they had been doing before they were interrupted. 

Everyone started to speak at once and Stiles struggled to follow what everyone was saying. 

“Finally!” was the only thing Lydia said before calmly exiting out of the same door the rest of the pack had just fallen through.

Scott, Isaac and Jackson were all talking over each other but seemed to be saying the same thing. From what Stiles could work out they had been worried about Stiles so they had followed his scent here. Once they heard his and Derek’s racing heartbeats they had rushed in without a second thought. Or at least that was what Isaac and Scott were saying, Jackson seemed to be trying to act like he didn’t care in the slightest yet his face gave him away. Stiles had learnt long ago to tell the difference between when Jackson was just being an asshole and when he was worried, but still an asshole. 

“You’re actually gay?” was Erica’s only comment although it wasn’t clear who it was directed at. 

“I forgot my keys.” Alex said with an evil grin and Stiles could easily spot her keys hanging out of her pocket. He decided not to comment on her obvious lie simply raising an eyebrow at her instead. The grin she sent him back was a strange mix of innocence and pure mischief that only she could get away with. He would have to make sure Alex and Lydia were never left alone together. He had a feeling that it would involve nail painting and plans for world domination and he didn’t want to be responsible for that. 

As the pack slowly shuffled in and edged their way to the middle of the room where the majority of the seats were Stiles realised his and Derek's conversation was over for the night. Sighing he untangled himself from Derek before the situation became even more embarrassing than it already was. 

“I’ll go put the kettle on then, Scott pick a film, Isaac come get everyone some snacks.” And just like that some normality was returned to his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it was. The end.
> 
> Let me know what you think please.
> 
> I have some ideas for a epilogue but I'll only write it if people actually want it so again let me know what you think.  
> Epilogue or no epilogue? that is the question. 
> 
> Oh and I kind of picture Alex like Nina Dobrev and Laura like Kayla Ewell.
> 
> Thanks.  
> (:


End file.
